New York Lawyer
February 10, 2005

Q:
I am a young associate who has been with a firm two years and has had very good reviews. However, one of the senior partners is angry with me and has begun spreading false rumors about my personal life. I have not confronted her and haven't responded to these untruths, but the office environment is becoming uncomfortable for me. What do I do?

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A:

This question comes on the heels of my column last week about backstabbers. That one was general in response to a general question, while your question presents a specific issue about an identified backstabber. While it�s to be expected that partners will talk frankly with one another about associates� legal skills, spreading rumors about an associate�s personal life is particularly reprehensible behavior for a partner.

You haven�t given much information, so it�s hard to give a comprehensive response. Here are some thoughts, however:

How is it that you know she�s been doing this? Have other people told you? If so, you should find out what you can about exactly what she�s been saying. Also, check with others to find out if she has a history of aberrant behavior. You may just be her latest victim. You will also need to find out, however, if having her as an opponent can be fatal to your career, or if people are used to her carping and don�t give it much credence. If she�s dangerous, you can let it be known generally what the truth is about your personal life without mentioning her. In other words, you may need to respond in some fashion to what she�s said so that you keep your name clear.

You could talk with your mentor or some other partner that you have come to know and trust, or perhaps an HR or professional development person, to get some advice on this. You don�t necessarily need to reveal who the culprit is, at first, but can ask for advice and get some pointers, as they know the personalities involved.

Another approach would be to talk with the partner in the following way: "I�m concerned about a situation that I�ve heard about. I understand that you�ve made some comments about me that are unflattering. This has caused me a lot of anxiety, and I want to talk with you about it so that we can try to repair whatever has gone wrong in our working relationship." The idea is, rather than pointing the finger at her, which is bound to make her defensive and/or angry, make it a problem for yourself that you need her help in solving. You can help her to understand the effect that she is having on your life, which is considerable (and she may not recognize the harm she is doing).

Still another approach: wait until another review session, and bring it up with whomever reviews you. Particularly if your review is positive, it may be helpful in that context to say that there is an issue you are uncomfortable about and want to clarify to make sure that it�s not hurting your professional development at the firm. Again, you will not necessarily need to reveal the woman�s identity at that time, but you can take the opportunity to ensure that your name remains clear.

Sincerely,
Holly English