New York Lawyer
February 3, 2005

Q:
How should I deal with a backstabber?

Submit Your Question

Find More Answers

A:

First and foremost -- don�t ignore him or her. The biggest mistake people make with backstabbers is thinking they can just stay above it all and not confront the problem.

Sometimes you can, if the backstabber is well known for his nefarious ways and no one takes him seriously. However, if he is getting any traction whatsoever against you, you must deal with the situation. The question is how -- and there are a few techniques you can try.

If the creep is all bluster, you can try nipping it in the bud by pulling him aside and saying, essentially, "I know what you�re doing. Knock it off." Some backstabbers are cowards posing as bullies, and are easily deflated if you just stick a pin in them.

They are in the minority, though. Most backstabbers must be dealt with indirectly. Usually the effective double crosser has the ear of someone in power, and is filling that ear with a bunch of rubbish about you (and, of course, flattering things about herself). If it�s clear whom the backstabber is trying to influence, you must start to influence that person in return. You do not (and need not) refer at all to your slime-ball colleague; simply make sure you check in with the supervisor, refer to your accomplishments, and give the supervisor more data than what they�re hearing from the other person.

If you don�t feel comfortable approaching a particular partner or someone who has a lot of power, another approach is to quietly spread the word among trusted colleagues that there is a problem. For instance, a common backstabbing technique is for the person to take credit for work she didn�t do. Other people can funnel the word to the appropriate supervisor that there�s a problem and that the person who really deserves the credit is being overlooked. These things have a way of bubbling up to the surface over time.

Finally, managers have a duty to be on the lookout for backstabbing behavior. Nothing fuels cynicism in the workplace more readily than the spectacle of conniving individuals climbing the ladder effortlessly, as clueless supervisors cheer them on, oblivious to the political realities taking place directly under their noses. Thus if it becomes apparent that a backstabber is flourishing in the office, a supervisor must deal with the issue swiftly and decisively, finding out the facts and dealing with the person so he or she doesn�t poison the atmosphere any further.

Sincerely,
Holly English