New York Lawyer
October 21, 2004

Q:
I'm in a position with a small firm that's going nowhere, but the hours are great. Every time I decide to make a move forward with my career, I turn back, fearing I will be forced into a position with eternally long hours, devoting blood and sweat to ungrateful partners. I don't want that lifestyle, but that seems to be the norm. Should I just stay where I am?

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A:

This brings up your career aims and the range of choices you have in trying to achieve them.

But you�ve set up a false dichotomy -- that your job inevitably must be either a laid back cushy-yet-dull limbo, or a miserable, slave-like hell. Obviously there are options in between.

If you really feel that you�re staying in a "backwards" job, you owe it to yourself to go forward, and not remain fixed in place. It takes courage, though, to leave the familiar, and go forward. Change is hard -- it�s always easier to stick with the familiar. But through change we enrich our lives, we gain new perspective, we slow down time, we gain challenges, we learn (and that�s how we stay young). Doing all you can to realize your ambitions and dreams is vital to living a full life. I�d really encourage you to shuck your caution and strike out in a new direction.

Ask yourself: are you practicing the kind of law you like? Do you like the people you practice with? Are you learning and growing? Is your income satisfactory? How important is a reasonable work/life balance, which you enjoy now? How much does your family benefit from your balanced lifestyle? How would they be affected by a job change? If you devoted yourself to a big marketing effort in your present position, could you become a successful profit center on your own, and help transform your pokey firm?

If you�re really not happy, not growing, and don�t think there�s any potential for growth, you really do have to move on. I�d bet you know this in your heart, but just haven�t summoned the motivation to do anything about it.

There are many firms out there with a wide variety of personalities -- and don�t forget inhouse, government and other options for lawyers. I think you need to learn more about the job market and what�s available, by talking with people and reading and surveying the landscape. Perhaps you should talk to a career counselor or a job coach who�s familiar with the legal profession, to get a reality check about what�s out there and what you can hope to land, depending on your practice area, years of experience, and other credentials. It seems to me you would like a firm (or inhouse department) that values work/life balance but that has a more exciting practice or business area than you currently occupy. That doesn�t strike me as an absurdly unrealistic goal -- so go for it.

P.S. Last week I wrote about dealing with chatty co-workers. A reader added a successful technique: "Re: the chatterbox--another suggestion. I used to be in a similar position. There was someone who would make the rounds, spending up to a half hour chatting with most of the people on my floor, every day. I was talking about it to the guy in the office next to mine, another victim of motor-mouth's visits, and we made a pact. Every time the talker dropped by my office, the guy next door would wait a minute or two and then call me and I'd excuse myself to answer the phone. I did the same for him. After about a week, the talker's visits dropped off substantially, and now I only see him once a month or so." The spirit of cooperation can work wonders.

Sincerely,
Holly English