New York Lawyer
October 14, 2004

Q:
I have a co-worker, who�s senior to me, and she is always talking. I mean this woman can talk. She stands in my doorway chatting, one story leading to another, with tons of elaborate detail, while the minutes tick by. I see her doing the same thing with other people and I can�t understand how she can keep up with her own billables, never mind the impact she has on myself and others. I find it awkward to cut her off and have tried more subtle approaches, like frequently glancing down at the papers waiting to be done or not reacting very enthusiastically, but she simply doesn�t seem to get the message.

I know this is not the biggest problem in the world, but it�s getting on my nerves. What can I do?

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A:

This is an example of the little things that can drive people crazy and have a real impact on the workplace on a day-to-day basis.

Who knows what�s up with her? She could have plenty of time on her hands and works all hours, and therefore is happy to stand around during normal working hours driving people nuts. It�s possible that she may not be aware that she is more talkative than most, but I doubt it; most such people have been informed throughout their lives that they talk a lot. So assume she knows.

Possible solutions range on a spectrum. Understandably you are reluctant to do anything too direct because she�s senior to you, and also because you sound like a polite person, which is usually to your credit.

Here are a few approaches. Each time she launches into another talk-a-thon, you can "suddenly" remember you have to do something: make a phone all; talk to someone before they leave; etc. Over time she may get the message that you�re not a great audience since you�re always fleeing. Similarly, you could try the "reschedule" trick, saying that you�d love to talk but that you�ve got a rush job right now, and ask when she�ll be available later on.

How about enlisting others? If other colleagues agree with you and are also reluctant to tell her directly, make seemingly casual remarks in a group setting -- such as "Susan can really chat up a storm," said in a neutral way or even a kidding way -- so that she�s aware that her loquaciousness makes an impression and might feel more self conscious about it.

Sometimes you can get others to deliver a direct message. Perhaps this woman has a peer whom you feel comfortable with who can let her know that she�s taking up a lot of time. (It would be especially helpful if the person who ultimately does her review heard, in whatever roundabout fashion, that she is talking everyone�s ear off, and could give her some feedback during her performance review.) Let�s hope one of these techniques will help the blabbermouth to zip her lip.

Sincerely,
Holly English
Principal Consultant, Values at Work