New York Lawyer
July 13, 2006

Q:
I've been working at my current in-house position for a bit more than 8 years, after two miserable years at a law firm. My current employer has been wonderful, even letting me cut back my work schedule to 4 8-hour days when I had children.

The only problem is that I'm bored with my job. I'm considering looking for new employment and while I'm willing to again work full time, I will remain the primary care giver for my pre-school-aged children (husband is a law firm lawyer). I'm fairly well known in my industry and frequent speaker on issues. I'm not planning to look at law firms, but am I living in a dream world believing that there's another employer out there that will allow a work/life balance - and how do I approach the issue in an interview?

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A:

First, a reality check: remember that the grass is always greener in the other fellow�s yard. If you have a compassionate, family-friendly legal employer, you should count your lucky stars. Don�t leave lightly; there aren�t a lot of them out there.

However, you have been in your current job for quite a while, and it�s understandable that you might want to try something new. If you are determined to leave, and want to replicate the family-friendly aspect, you will need to find out informally what the scoop is at other workplaces. Ask around, keep your ear to the ground, and do your best to ask any sources you can find about the reality of life in other firms or inhouse departments. If you�re not in a hurry to move, you can take your time to try to find a place that meets your career goals but that also lets you have a life.

The reason it is necessary to determine this question informally is because it is very difficult to find out in the course of interviewing. You can be sure that you will hear soothing tributes to family and balance while you interview, but often people find out that the reality once they are in the workplace is drastically different. You have to read between the lines; interviewers will say "we work hard and we play hard" (which means they work constantly); that "we like to think that we provide balance" (which means they don�t). Sorry to be cynical but you really do have to be careful that you don�t fall for the window dressing.

There are ways, in the interviewing process, to ask (either directly or not) about work/life balance, or at least to read the tea leaves. If you have a certain amount of clout (and you say you�re well known in your field) you may have more freedom to ask up front about a flexible schedule. If they want you badly enough you may well be able to communicate that you require a certain type of schedule.

Absent some special circumstances, though, be aware that many places would deem such inquiries a red flag and find a reason to ding you. If you don�t feel that you can directly inquire about flexibility, ask a lot of questions about the workplace. In the course of conversation interviewers are likely to mention factors about colleagues, such as whether they are part time, etc.

As you probably know, it is more common to join a workplace, prove yourself and then get a flexible schedule. This is a nuisance when you have already established yourself elsewhere, but flexible hours continue to be viewed as a special reward for select people, rather than as a variation in schedules that many people at different times in their lives might need or desire (for child care, care of an aging relative, to write a novel -- whatever).

Best of luck to you in your search.

Sincerely,
Holly English
Principal Consultant, Values at Work