New York Lawyer
January 20, 2005

Q:
What can you do about a colleague who is constantly complaining?

I have one employee, an average performer, who complains about the behavior of co-workers on a regular basis. Sometimes it will be about the performance of others - the complainer feels she works harder than the others around her and wants it fixed (others see the work being distributed fairly evenly). The next complaint is about co-workers and their attendance. Her most recent complaint is about people calling in sick or staying home to care for a sick child; she feels that nothing ever happens to those who do this frequently. She complains of being overworked but doesn't ask those available to help when she needs it; she just complains later.

Now she is saying that if something isn't done, she will need to leave because it is just too much work, too stressful to stay and she doesn't need to work.

Please advise on how to deal with an employee who never seems to be happy and always seems to feel that she works harder and better than anyone else around her. Our performance appraisals and merit increases do take attendance into consideration, and salary increases certainly are affected by attendance as well as reliability and flexibility.

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A:

You�ll forgive me for stating the obvious: she�s an "average performer," she complains all the time, she "doesn�t need to work," she saps morale by complaining all the time -- and yet you want to keep her. Maybe I�m missing something, but you really should consider escorting her to the door.

If, however, you feel that support staff is hard to come by, and that you would prefer to keep her but try to improve her performance, here are some thoughts:

Whiners and complainers are a problem in the workplace because they affect morale adversely, they waste people�s time, they spread rumors, and otherwise impact the office negatively. While you�re always going to get some grousing, when it gets extreme you have a responsibility to yourself, other employees and the workplace as a whole to try to do something about it. You�re not the only one who�s steamed about her remarks, I�m sure.

Often complainers don�t realize how they come across. You can advise her of her behavior by focusing on how it affects you and others -- when you complain frequently it brings me and others down; it takes up a lot of time when we should be working; it isn�t productive -- chronicling whatever the effects are. She might start to realize that complaining can become a bad habit if it�s unchecked.

Another approach is to rebut her complaints with facts. If her record for absences is no better than anyone else�s, share with her (without using names) the reality about absences so that she stops anointing herself as the only dedicated worker in the crew. Additionally, you can clarify the effect that performance appraisals have when evaluating people.

But the most effective approach would be to coach her on what she�s trying to get out of her job. You can have a meeting where you clear the air and completely evaluate what�s going on. She seems deeply discontented, and perhaps there is a way to re-focus her job responsibilities so that she gets more satisfaction on a day-to-day basis. Complainers often need a more positive orientation (sometimes supplied by others) so that they see a future ahead of them.

Sincerely,
Holly English