New York Lawyer
October 7, 2004

Q:
I know I come on strong but I need to get work done. I�ve been criticized (especially in our firm�s new upwards review system) for being harsh, but really I just want work done well. Why is that a demanding person who wants nothing but quality for clients gets penalized?

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A:

You should keep high standards and that�s important. What can be a problem is when your method of delivery overwhelms your laudable goals. When that happens, your reputation as a sharp-tongued tyrant or bully will take over, and people will focus on that and forget about your good qualities. You need to take some steps so that others will share your regard for work well done, but also will respect you. Here are some thoughts:

Make clear your expectations so that there�s no argument about them. At the beginning you can specify as clearly as possible what you expect from people. You can even say that you have higher standards than others, but you believe that�s what�s necessary in order to please clients and maintain the firm�s reputation. Thereafter you can refer to the agreed-upon expectations if there is a difficulty.

Insist on early deadlines. If you�re a perfectionist, you probably need to have materials delivered to you earlier than at the last second, which is often the reason why these things blow up.

If you need to deliver negative feedback, do so in a factual way. Deliver your reactions in a fact-based way, not angrily. When people seem personally angry at colleagues, that�s often when the problems begin. Don�t go after someone when you�re in a foul mood; wait until you�ve calmed down and can speak rationally.

Above all, be respectful. This follows on from the point before, but it�s important enough to merit special emphasis. The big killer at work is when people believe they are not being treated with respect. Indeed, I�ve consulted in workplaces where the lowliest employees sing the praises of their employer because they are treated well; in others, highly placed lawyers will complain bitterly of a lack of respect. Therefore it�s imperative that you not convey a basic lack of regard for others when you deal with them. This means avoiding ad hominen attacks and conclusory statements ("you�re a terrible writer") and treating your colleagues as adults, not as children who need to be punished.

Make sure to reveal more than one side of your personality. If you are always "work, work, work" and a grump in the bargain, you can�t blame people for thinking of you in negative terms. You don�t need to be best friends with people at work, but it pays to show a bit of your human side. Take a few minutes now and then to talk about sports, current events, movies, etc., anything to show that you�re not a cardboard cutout of a bully but in fact a flesh-and-blood person. Then when you�re being demanding people will have more information to draw on when making conclusions about your character.

Sincerely,
Holly English
Principal Consultant, Values at Work