New York Lawyer
July 24, 2003

Q:
Do partners get upset (and therefore, not give good recommendations) if women leave the firm soon after taking maternity leave? I have been with the firm for almost three years (I am a fifth-year associate). I am not yet pregnant, but planning on it soon.

I don't even know whether I would leave the firm after I have a kid. My mother lives in the same city as me and is willing to devote her time to helping us raise our kid. In addition, I don't mind the hours so long as I continue to do challenging work but of course, I can't predict how I will react after I have a kid.

As a side note, I don't feel particularly challenged or interested in the work at this point and plan to make that known to partners. If that doesn't change, then I would want to leave for reasons other than having a baby, but I definitely don't want to start another job pregnant, and I don't want to have a baby at another job immediately.

Given my age, I feel that I should have a baby in the next year or two. Should I stay at this job and have the "exit baby"?

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A:

It�s hard to speculate about this because women in fact don�t know how they will react once they have a child (and, by the way, fathers often are taken by surprise by their reactions to having children as well, wishing they could cut back and see their kids more). A number of things could happen in the future. If you tell the firm you want better work, and they give it to you, you will be happier professionally. And if you have your mom taking care of your child, you�ll be in great shape child-care wise, often the bane of working parents� existence. If you don�t get the work you want, and you establish that at the outset, you�ll be well positioned to make a graceful exit. If, however, you get new work, and you have a child only to discover that you want to stay home, that will be stickier.

Because, yes, partners do get upset when women leave soon after taking maternity leave. In the course of researching my recently published book (Gender on Trial: Sexual Stereotypes and Work/Life Balance in the Legal Workplace, ALM Publishing, 2003), many partners in firms, both male and female, complained to me about a succession of women who had worked in their firms. The typical litany went: �One woman left after getting engaged to a guy in another city; another left after having her first kid; yet another had a kid, went part time, had a second kid and then left,� and so forth. When this occurs repeatedly it confirms the dark feelings that already exist that women aren�t really �committed� to the law (a pernicious concept because so narrowly defined, but rampant). Under the cloak of anonymity, many confided that they didn�t really want to hire young females as a result. People actually said, �Women just get pregnant and leave.� So when you question whether the partners might not give you a good recommendation if you leave after having a baby, that�s hard to know, but I can guarantee you that there�s frustration about women exiting, whether it�s appropriate or not.

Now � there�s plenty of blame and excuses and explanations to go around on this one. Law firms in particular have dealt miserably with the issue of flexibility, and corporate America isn�t much better. Leadership in law firms is so fixated on traditional measures of commitment (24/7 responsiveness, face time uber alles, billable hours trumping quality of work) that they are stubbornly resistant to new ways of achieving success. If the firm had a viable flexible work arrangement program in place, you might be thinking in terms of how to devise a workable reduced-hours or telecommuting schedule rather than assuming a stay-or-leave scenario.

However, coldly calculating when to have an �exit baby� isn�t the most admirable course either. Think about it: you�re a fifth year associate, thus in the prime money-making, value-added years from the firm�s standpoint. The firm will keep your position open and presumably pay all your benefits while you�re out, when you�re assuming that you�ll be leaving, either to tend your baby or to go somewhere else. Knowing this in advance and going ahead and doing it is precisely the cynicism that firms assume goes on, and it leaves them feeling betrayed and taken advantage of. Thus, out of regard for your firm, I�d say the ethical thing to do is to make clear your discomfort with your practice area now, so that it�s obvious that you�re looking for new challenges. If you get pregnant soon, but are continually making the point that you want new work and don�t see any change, it won�t be a surprise if you eventually leave.

If you get the work you want, I think you should commit to stay for at least a decent interval thereafter, rather than bolting after having a child. If you want to spend more time with your child than a full-time schedule would permit, work constructively with your firm to figure out a reduced-hours schedule that observes the following guidelines: flexibility (e.g., don�t insist on walking out the door at a specified time); super-communication (for instance, let people know it�s okay to call at home); and delivering on promises. And the best way to ensure success in an alternative work arrangement is to have your own business, so if you don�t at present, try to build up some of your clients.

Sincerely,
Holly English
Principal Consultant, Values at Work