New York Lawyer
July 17, 2003

Q:
I am a married female attorney in Biglaw. Recently, while on a business trip, a client came on to me sexually and one thing led to another. While I will admit that I was attracted to him after several bottles of wine, I know that this is not something I would have done absent the intense pressure of a powerful client. I do take some responsibility, but I don't think I could have done anything differently. I accepted dinner invitations because the client was paying for my visit and because I was simply doing my best to develop a professional relationship with the client. I talked positively about my husband frequently and do not think I did anything to encourage the interaction.

Now I am embarrassed and continue to have to work with him and for him, though he has continued to treat me professionally. What should I do, if anything? How should I handle our next encounter, which will be on his turf? I obviously do not want to jeopardize my firm's engagement on this matter.

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A:

Tsk, tsk. Hate to sound like your mom and dad, but - what were you thinking?!

Lawyers sometimes get involved with clients. It's rarely a good idea. Oftentimes it occurs at the behest of a client, who takes advantage of what he/she full well knows is a pressured situation, almost daring an attorney to turn him/her down and risk "losing the client." Firm management unfortunately often turns a blind eye, or subtly pressures attorneys to put up with it, so that the client is not offended. By the way, firms are liable for sexual harassment that might affect one of their attorneys, even if the perpetrator is a client. So turning a blind eye isn't too smart. Firms need to briskly step up to the issue, using low-key management (chief among them: don't let the client be alone with the object of their affection) or more direct methods.

But this situation doesn't sound like sexual harassment. You say you felt some pressure, but it looks pretty consensual to me. Certainly refusing a few Cabernets never hurt when trying to avoid breaking your marital vows. Not to mention "several bottles of wine." Yikes. And there's no indication that the firm expected you to get cozy with this client to keep the business. You say you take some responsibility, but I think you're being too easy on yourself. Obviously you could have "done something differently."

With this in mind, you first have to resolve for yourself what's going on in your personal life. Are you dedicated and loyal to your marriage or not? That's a separate issue, but wouldn't hurt in resolving this one. If you aren't, look that issue in the eye and deal with it; and if your eye wanders, don't let it wander over to clients. If you realize belatedly that in fact your marriage is important to preserve, then proceed with that in mind.

With the client, start out with acting like nothing's happened. Continue in a professional vein, avoiding time alone with the client as much as possible. It could be that he will get the message and the problem will resolve itself. If (as is more likely) he presses for another fling, you'll have to say something like, "You know, I'm married, and I can't imagine what possessed me to act as I did. It was unprofessional and inappropriate. I'm very disappointed in myself. My biggest concern is to make sure that the work our firm does for you isn't disrupted in any way. I want to provide great legal work, but I think you can understand that what happened the other night really can't be part of our working relationship." You have to keep the notion of the law firm's business front and center, while not compromising yourself anymore than you already have.

Employment lawyer Lynne Anne Anderson, a partner at Sills Cummis Radin Tischman Epstein & Gross in New Jersey, prescribes a more severe remedy: "If the female attorney is truly concerned about `jeopardizing' her firm's engagement on this matter, she should transition her responsibilities so that another attorney is responsible for the case and/or interaction with the client." Short of that, she offers some pointers to manage the amorous client: "Schedule lunch, not dinner, meetings. Avoid alcohol. Meet with the client at his office, rather than off-site locations, especially hotels. And use the `handshakes not hugs' rule."

Keep in mind that you actually jeopardize your own standing in the firm with such risky maneuvers, rather than helping your firm retain business.

Sincerely,
Holly English
Principal Consultant, Values at Work