New York Lawyer
May 30, 2002

Q:
I have two people, both partners, in my practice area who do not get along. One came up through the ranks and the other is a lateral. It is debilitating to team spirit to watch the two of them interact. They attack each other in one-on-one conversations with coworkers, make snide remarks in meetings, etc.

They really are very diferent personalities: one is kind of a deep thinker, low-key, rather elegant in statement and dress; and the other is more of a street fighter type -- curses a lot, clothes often awry, that sort of thing. The deep thinker will give a complicated analysis of a case and the other guy will cut him off, saying, "Oh, give us a break! Are they going to f---in� pay or not?" They have their own clients so in a way it doesn�t make a huge difference, however, it hurts the harmony that we had before the lateral came in (the street fighter guy).

I don�t think there�s much I can do about this -- I can�t force them to get along -- but I also feel awkward that it�s so obvious and kind of embarrassing.

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A:
You can�t force them to get along, but you can -- and should -- coach them on appropriate behavior that builds a minimal working relationship. A leader needs to keep the good of the firm and of the practice area in sight at all times. It is very much your responsibility to at least try to decrease the tension.

I�d start a process that resembles mediation with the two of them. (I�m assuming for this question that you want to keep these lawyers in your firm and don�t want to ease one or both out.) First talk with each separately, then get them together. Simply focusing attention on their conflict will alter the dynamics a little. They will realize that their ongoing spat is causing real concern and perhaps feel a little more self conscious about their antics.

There are several approaches you can take in this process.

First, talk with them about the goal of such an experience. It�s not to magically transform them into best friends, but help them establish a workable relationship within the office so that the firm can carry on productively. Remind them of their ultimate responsibility for the health of the firm and the well being of their clients. They have as much responsibility as anyone and need to be apprised of it double quick. Often people in these situations fail to recognize the duty they have to the practice area as a whole, and don�t understand the effect they have on the morale of others. Make sure to enumerate in specific, factual terms some of the effects their unpleasant dynamic has on others.

Another approach is to talk with each about his individual working style, and contrast it with the other guy�s style. This can depersonalize their conflict and personality clash a little bit, so that they see differences less as a rude affront and more as a natural outgrowth of the other man�s personality and makeup. It can give them some insight about their individual styles so they better understand where each is coming from and they don�t seem like such aliens to one another.

Ask them to visualize or role play different ways of reacting to certain scenarios so they can figure out new ways to manage their relationship. You can ask them individually what things rankle about the other, then devise a way to bring up sensitive topics with for constructive discussion when they are together.

For instance, the street fighter may not appreciate the importance of a close analysis of a case, because he has a a laser-like focus on the bottom line; the intellectual fellow may be offended by such crass talk when he�s deep in scholarly rumination. You can reveal to the two of them, in carefully chosen words, how each comes across to the other, emphasizing the positive aspects of their approaches (one keeps a close eye on finances, keeping the firm financially healthy; the other ensures that their product is top notch).

Talking about a dynamic like that in a neutral setting, when no actual conflict is at hand, can defuse the tension and suggest alternative ways of reacting when issues arise. Who knows -- they might even learn something from one another.

Finally, monitor their progress in minimizing unpleasant episodes. Knowing that this is not an isolated Dutch-uncle talk, but in fact signals ongoing scrutiny, again can keep them on their toes and more self-aware about how they affect others.

More fundamentally, this episode makes me wonder what steps you take to bring a lateral into the fold (and how you hire them in the first place). Most firms hire laterals in a rush, not paying much attention to "fit." They simply let the person lurch along, making his or her own way, often hardly bothering to introduce the new person around. Follow a more comprehensive process at the beginning: Use careful hiring to avoid major clashes; employ a systematic rotation of lunches and conferences so the new person can become familiar with his or her new colleagues, and vice versa. This can help to prevent or minimize conflicts like this one. Think about it before something like this happens again, wasting time and draining energy from your primary focus.

Sincerely,
Holly English
Principal Consultant, Values at Work