New York Lawyer
May 16, 2002

Q:
I work in a firm where almost everyone is single � i.e. divorced or never married -- or if married, they are cheating. Schmoozing, which is a must, often leads to more than just a few drinks. For example, one of the senior associates in my department began sleeping with a key partner, which became public knowledge. Now she has all the good assignments. The same partner tells me that I have to start doing more things with the group in order to get more exposure since, apparently, no one knows me.

I have always had very positive evaluations from the partners with whom I have worked. However, it is often the case that I am passed over for key assignments. I don't go out with the people from my firm very often, and I certainly don't date them, though I have been propositioned by other associates (including someone who is officially engaged!).

I really don't want to get personally involved with anyone at the firm. Given the sexual politics in my firm, particularly within my department, should I start looking elsewhere for work?

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A:
Your firm sounds a lot like the massive, 24/7 firms where everybody�s there all the time, so mixing a social life with work is pretty much inevitable. I�ve talked with many lawyers about these firms, all distinguished institutions, who tell me: �You need a scorecard to keep track of the affairs,� �It�s a total Peyton Place,� and �Everyone is sleeping with everyone.� Makes you wonder how they rack up those huge billable hours.

A recent column discussed the legal ramifications about two people having an affair. As that column made clear, partners should be acutely aware that today�s friendly affair may be tomorrow�s EEOC headache. But are there additional legal ramifications in the situation you describe?

Perhaps. Jerry Weinstein, an employment lawyer in Boston with Sullivan, Weinstein & McQuay, reports: �The fact that some associates in the firm do better with assignments, pay, etc., because they are dating partners, does not mean that those who are disadvantaged in terms of their assignments and pay, because they are not dating partners, are being discriminated against as a legal matter. It's, alas, always been the case that some employees are favored over others for non-professional reasons, and here the reasons are because some of the associates are willing to get into dating relationships to further their careers.�

But that�s not the end of the story, Weinstein says: �There is something else creeping into this that could raise a legal issue, and that is the perhaps not-so-subtle suggestion that this associate should do `more things with the group� in order to advance her career. If what is being impressed on this associate is that as a condition of her employment she is being coerced or pressured to extend sexual favors, that could indeed be discriminatory.�

Aside from the legal risks, the resentment that people such as yourself feel about the perception -- justified or not � that other people are favored due to their antics is incredibly demoralizing. It�s awkward and frustrating to see someone else waltzing off with the good work when it looks very much like the key to advancement is fraternizing with the boss.

Short of racing to the courthouse, let�s sort out your options. I�d focus first on getting to the bottom of your failure to get good assignments, evaluating whether that can be changed, and only then focus on whether to stay or go. (It�s true that you have to get out there to receive the work you want. To have this sage advice coming with a straight face from the guy who�s apparently favoring the woman he�s sleeping with is galling, to say the least.)

Have you tried specifically asking for the �good� assignments? Not just sitting back and letting your work speak for itself (which in a more systems-oriented, merit-based organization might be enough), but going to each partner for whom you�d like to work, looking them in the eye and asking for specific assignments. �If any bond work comes up, I hope you�ll consider putting me on it, because I�m very interested in that area� or �I know Acme Media is an exciting client to work with. The work I�ve been doing is particularly relevant and I think I could be a lot of help to you if an assignment comes up in that area.� It�s often hard or distasteful to boldly ask for what you want, but in a highly competitive environment, especially one where the �system� for assignments is pretty loose, you will have to get in there and fight for what you want.

It also seems possible to get better work by at least socializing, if not actually pairing off with, your lustful colleagues. Informal criteria for advancement, such as schmoozing, is not in of itself bad � a workplace that values interpersonal relationships can be a very healthy and supportive environment. If there are other things you like about the firm, you could consider turning up at the local pub or wherever the partying takes place, so that people can get to know you and will more readily think of you when it�s time to hand out the plum assignments.

More broadly, you can think about whether there�s any chance of effecting a culture change, or at least some thoughtful reflection, about the way things work. Are there other partners or associates in your department who aren�t impressed with the current qualifications for getting assignments? Are there partners in other departments who could be recruited to apply some pressure? If not, find a firm where they spend more time actually working rather than playing.

Sincerely,
Holly English
Principal Consultant, Values at Work