New York Lawyer
May 31, 2001

Q:
I have a question about a major-league whiner. I am a partner and he�s a senior associate, very smart and does great work. What goes along with it, though, is an unbelievable capacity to look on the dark side of things. To listen to him, nothing is ever good enough; he always gets the worst assignments, everything is political in the firm, and on and on.

Last week he was complaining that the coffee was bad and that he figured it was because the firm had bought cheap coffee in an effort to economize. I�m torn about this fellow � we work closely on cases and he really delivers, but his attitude is draining. Should you fire someone because they�re a whiner?

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A:
Whoa, whoa � no need to jump right to whether to fire this guy or not. Although, the fact that you couch the question that way means that this person is taking a pretty big toll on you.

The ingredients of a good working relationship within a law firm are complex. It�s not as simple, as you have discovered, to have someone who does good work. There�s also a stylistic component that can be critical. Dealing with it is tricky, because you probably don�t want to alienate someone who has become increasingly valuable to your practice. And while giving feedback on work-related issues, while difficult, can be reduced to impersonal sounding facts and behaviors, giving feedback on someone�s personality is a lot touchier.

I�d first evaluate how important this person really is to you. If you value his expertise highly, it�s worth it to make a concerted effort to modify his behavior. Next I would evaluate whether you want to be direct or indirect in your approach with him. A candid, sit-down-and-look-him-in-the-eye approach is okay if the person is thick skinned enough to take it. Also, this guy may not have any idea how he comes across. He may have gotten into a bad habit and isn�t aware that he�s driving people nuts. Just telling him bluntly could jolt him out of his cranky ways.

If, however, he�s a more sensitive type, I�d try humor instead. A gentle prod here and there � �ooh, the bad coffee conspiracy!� � or kidding remarks � �how about some cheese with that whine?� � perhaps can get the message across without too much sting.

Sincerely,
Holly English
Principal Consultant, Values at Work