New York Lawyer
May 3, 2001

Q:
I�m an associate at a medium-sized firm. When I first started work as a lawyer, not too long ago, I was determined to make a real effort to get along with the non-legal staff. I used to work as a paralegal and know what it�s like to be treated badly.

But I�ve turned into everybody�s big buddy. One secretary or paralegal after another walks into my office, plunks down and launches into their latest personal crisis, even when I�m frantically trying to get work out the door. I�m like the firm den mother.

I want to reformulate my relationships, and not be quite so cozy. What can I do to get this situation back on track -- more work and less talk?

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A:
It�s great that you want to relate well to staff. Too many people don�t even think about dealing with support staff. Some will adopt a hierarchical, above-it-all attitude, fail to connect on a human level, and treat staff like second-class citizens. (Many staff people complain that lawyers don�t even say �Good morning.� It is amazing how much that simple act can warm up a chilly atmosphere.)

This can be a double-edged sword, though. �It�s possible to overcompensate in your efforts to get along with staff,� according to Charlene M. Arrington, an employment lawyer with substantial experience managing human resource issues. Finding the right balance between a strong work ethic and an enjoyable environment can be hard. At the end of the day, you�re there to provide excellent legal services for your clients, and that should be your primary mission. A friendly workplace is also a fine goal, but things shouldn't get so casual that people forget the main reason they�re there.

The first step in resolving this problem requires deciding how nice a person you want to be in the workplace. That may sound strange, but your role on the job is distinct from your role at home or in social settings. Obviously you don�t need to be a humorless drone, but you do have different priorities at work than in your private life.

You need to keep your top priorities firmly in mind. On a slow day, you can be relaxed and listen to people�s woes, but most of the time you can signal that chats can only take place when there isn�t work piled to the ceiling. Maybe you can be open and chatty first thing in the morning, on a regular basis, but during the rest of the day keep the door partly closed and use body language to show that you are not available for personal chats. Or you could make a point of joining the secretary/paralegal lunch table, shooting the breeze then.

Arrington also suggests asking a staff member with a problem to return at a specific time when you don�t have as much work. �That way, the individual will leave your office,� she said, �cool off a little, and might decide that the problem wasn�t important enough to discuss with you in the first place. Or the person will return at the time designated by you, in which case you will be able to devote 100% of your listening attention to the person.� Over time, she points out, people will get the idea as you �train� them that you have work to do and will not be available at their beck and call to discuss matters not related to work.

The important thing is to keep your eye on the ball -- you need to do a great job for your clients. If listening to everyone�s sob story is making it harder for you to do that, you must make some adjustments.

Sincerely,
Holly English
Principal Consultant, Values at Work